Sunday, January 12, 2014

Plan for 2014

My weight today was 393.2 lbs.  That’s down 29 lbs from June of last year but up 86 pounds from my low three years ago.  While I am on track again I still have to keep vigilant.

This morning I spent some time reflecting on weight loss.  Since I been up and down the scale I thought "What was different the times that I have actually lost weight?"  and of course that question led to "what happened to make me stop losing and to in fact gain?"  I was easily able to say that I believed in myself and that I was worth it.

I went back and traced my weight loss journey.  I decided to lose weight, I needed to.  That vision I had of myself dead on the bathroom floor, scared me so I started.  I set goals and when the weight loss started to happen I thought about what life would be like when I lost the weight.  How would my life change, things would be different.  I lost the weight and I realized that it wasn't that way.  My life was exactly the same except that I had a bit more energy and my clothes were a smaller size.  The life problems were still there.....weight loss didn't fix everything. I was listening to life and allowing it to derail me.  

So what was different now?  I read something that started making me think.

"How to translate a right mental conviction into a right emotional result, and so into easy, happy, and good living—well, that's not only the neurotic's problem, it's the problem of life itself for all of us who have got to the point of real willingness to hew to right principles in all our affairs."

Even with the weight loss peace and joy may still elude me, it's a hell of a spot, literally. So how can my unconscious—from which so many of my fears, compulsions and phony aspirations still stream—be brought into line with what I actually believe, know and want! How do I convince My dumb, raging and hidden "Mr. Hyde" becomes our main task.

That's what I need to work on.  I still intend to get down to 240 lbs by July of 2015, which is a ambitious goal.  I will need to lose 9 lbs a month.  I am breaking it down into three area


Being accountable means stepping up to the plate and taking responsibility for my weight, while publicly declaring my desire to change.  That's the reason I started this blog and have failed to keep it up, this is going to change.  I have started back to doing what worked, when I lost the weight, keeping track of my weight weekly, tracking calories and staying away from my kryptonite pizza.

I’m weighing again every Friday morning and have started a weight loss page to tell the world.  I may even start posting progress photos, but I have to think about that.


Back to sparkpeople and tracking my food.  It worked last time so it should work this time. According to the calculators I need to consume about 2,268 calories a day to reach my goal weight of 240 lbs by July 30, 2015.

Mental State

This is what I need to work on and discover how to convince Mr Hyde to change.  So let the game begin!!!

Saturday, January 4, 2014

"When you turn on yourself, it's not the food, it's you that you're battling. Admit you overdid it and be honest, but recognize that you're human."

Ah the holidays, family, fun and food.  Way to much food.  For the last two weeks I went nuts.  I was on a good course before, that but what happen?  I could spend hours trying to figure that out, but I was always told to live in the solution, not the problem.  As the saying says I am only human, and the sooner I recognize that I am off course the better.
So I aim to lose 2 pounds in the next week. To do that I'll have to reduce my daily calorie intake by 400 to 600 calories and burn off 300 to 400 calories a day for an average weekly deficit of 7,000 calories.  So be easy, one would think.  The house is clean of all the bad foods and stocked with good.

I am also thinking it's time to write more, I have friends that swear by this and maybe I can learn something more about me.  I’m a better student when I am taking notes. Writing things down leads to even deeper understanding and, I hope, wisdom. I want to write down what I learn, so I don’t have to re-learn it later.
Whether it be in this blog or a journal I have not decided but it is something that I should do more often.

Then there is prayer and meditation.  Another thing I seem to have stopped doing and it's time to get back to.  While I am not a religious person I do believe in the spiritual aspect of life and the older I get the more this seems to be important.  Maybe it's a midlife thing but since its been on my mind it must mean something.

Well this is a start, and a journey always starts with the first step.